Back Baby!

Hello everyone, missed me? I 'm sure. Well It has come to my attention that you don't think my story's are true. Broken hearted would be an understatement, who do you think I am Clinton, with the Old " I didn't Inhale crap". No my bullshit is real, or is it?   Will share three stories with you  children, two are real one made up . You figure it out. I was sitting on the Hood of our 1958 Chevy grain truck spying on my neighbors who were also harvesting their wheat, waiting for my Father to blow the siren, he had jimmy rigged on the 510 Massey ferguson combine, to let me know when his grain hopper was full. My duty was to bee ready at a moments notice to come when called, and with my dad that was with a sense of urgency. I noticed a trail of smoke in the sky trailing to my North, just out my line of vision, an explosion ,huge ball of fire, nearly knocked me off the truck. I raced up to get Dad and we raced as much as a 1958 truck could race 1 mile north to my uncle Richards farm where we found a crater of unknown depth filled with fire and smoke. For you see what happened was that two Fighter Jets F 15's were playing chicken just to the south of the SweetGrass Hills and clipped wings ,one landing not 1000 feet from Richards house. The other landed some 20 miles away. Real story?    One evening while I was single in 1973 , being the swinging single that I was I went into Joplin  for an evening of embibing with my fellow losers, happened to be January 25 temp minus 45 . Took Dads 1968 Dodge 100 pickup had a flat just out of town, fixed it fine but it took about 20 minutes and it was the right rear tire which happened to be where the exhaust was. After nearly finishing I stood up and proceeded to pass out from the fumes. Thankfully I woke up sometime later with just a  touch of frostbite on my cheeks. Most morons would have gone home with a feeling that they just lucked out , not me. Went directly to the Palace Bar ,  got stupid drunk headed home around midnight only to roll said pick-up end for end 2 miles from home on a gravel road. The top was flattened 18 inches or so, all glass broken out of cab , landed on her wheels . After I blinked a few times I thought as only a Hi-Line drunk would do wonder if she'll run? It started up a nd I drove her home -45 degees, was sober as Judge Thomas when I got to the Farm. I am watched over.  Last  ,Sitting on a 24 passenger Plane on the runway in Spokane ,already nervous , BlackJack is not too crazy about flying especially on these little puddle jumpers. I noticed this nervous acting passenger two rows ahead and across the aisle, using my super human senses, by the time we landed in Great Falls !I had deducted thar this gentleman was the same person that I had seen on the evening news the previous night. He was the suspected serial Arsonist that had Butte Mt in a tizzy, The one thing that had this sleuth somewhat off was that he didn't have a mustache like in the photo. First chance I called the Great Falls Police Department to report this, The perp stayed on the plane , was heading on to Billings Mt.  Later that day I called the department back and low and behold,   Wait for it.    He was arrested when he departed the plane. With a clean shaven upper lip.